X-Symantec-TimeoutProtection: 0 Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@ausheart.com.au Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id AEBA73FA0E for ; Sun, 19 Feb 2006 18:53:03 +1100 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 08494-03 for ; Sun, 19 Feb 2006 18:52:48 +1100 (EST) Received-SPF: none (marlin.fishinternet.com.au: 150.101.193.82 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of fathersonline.org) client-ip=150.101.193.82; envelope-from=info@fathersonline.org; helo=polyglot.com.au; Received: from polyglot.com.au (eth2643.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.193.82]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 757D53FA0C for ; Sun, 19 Feb 2006 18:52:28 +1100 (EST) Received: from server ([192.168.100.14]) by polyglot.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.211); Sun, 19 Feb 2006 18:53:06 +1100 Thread-Topic: Fathers-Speaking to our Children Reply-To: Message-ID: <12e501c63529$84b67880$0101a8c0@polyglot.local> thread-index: AcY1KYS0R9SbeyXtTjOgjV7PE/mwIg== From: To: Subject: Fathers-Speaking to our Children Date: Sun, 19 Feb 2006 18:53:06 +1100 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_12E6_01C63585.B826F080" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Exchange 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.326 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 19 Feb 2006 07:53:06.0328 (UTC) FILETIME=[84B8E980:01C63529] X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_12E6_01C63585.B826F080 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable =20 =20 Unable to read this email? Please click here =20 =20 Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 Go to our website Here =20 =20 * Welcome Warwick * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * Dads with Young Children * Thought of the Week * All You Need is Love * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * About Us Welcome Warwick =20 Well I feel totally gutted. What's wrong with me, I'm usually much more positive than this? Before I tell you why, let me tell you something I have never told you before. I don't talk about it very often, because it is sort of awkward, and in some ways very sad. =20 My wife and I have five children, but we should have had six. In 1989 my wife miscarried. It was a shocking experience. The pregnancy was unexpected but so was the miscarriage. My wife started to spot blood but before long the increasing flow of blood became a great cause of concern. We didn't really know what was happening, our hearts were pounding as I drove her to the hospital. =20 As the midwives attended to my wife, they tried to give us hope as they reassured us that many other women's babies had survived similar circumstances. When the doctor did an examination she informed us that the baby had died and was lying in the neck of the cervix and that a curette should be performed. I can remember being very shocked that the baby was dead. Although we had not necessarily expected that pregnancy, we were both looking forward to the birth of our fifth child. She or he would be seventeen years of age by now and approaching the last year of high school. =20 I recall giving the nurses the 'third degree', "Are you sure the baby is dead?" was the foremost thought on my mind. After a protracted discussion with the hospital staff, we agreed to the curette which would remove the dead baby and any other foetal matter. =20 In some ways Alison was relieved, as the curette seemed to be the only answer at the time, but nothing could have prepared us for the shock and grief we were both about to go through. Obviously my wife felt that grief more than me because she was closer to the baby than I was. She was carrying that beautiful little life deep inside the safest place in her body, her womb. I remember that I cried a little, but it was not unusual for me to come home from work and find my wife preparing dinner with tears in her eyes. In times like these I gave her a hug and tried to reassure her and comfort her. This grieving process went on for over six months. In fact, some six years later, my wife woke up one morning and wrote the song below. =20 I Never Knew You =20 Inspired by the thought: 'How will I recognise my unformed babe in eternity?' =A9 1995 Alison Marsh =20 I never knew you, rocked you in my arms. I never saw you smile or laugh at me. I never loved you, tried the fears to calm, But deep inside I'll know when it's you I see. =20 I never held you, wiped away the tears. I never touched you, felt your skin so soft. I never loved you over all these years, But when I see you, I'll know it's you I lost. =20 You left me at such an early age, It must have been as difficult for you as it was for me. You left me at such an early stage, Still I know I'll know, when it's you I see. =20 I often wonder how it would have been To have another child so soon? No, I'll never know, how it could have been,=20 Yet I know, I'll know, when I see you. =20 You left me at such an early age, It must have been as difficult for you as it was for me. You left me at such an early stage, Still I know I'll know, when it's you I see. =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * =20 So why do I feel so gutted this week? That was seventeen years ago? =20 This week, and last week, the federal parliament has voted that approval for the abortion pill RU486 be given to the Therapeutic Goods Association so that it will become freely available for all Australian women to use whenever they wish. Sadly, this pill has already killed women overseas. We already have almost 100,000 abortions a year in Australia. That does not include miscarriages or still births. It seems unbelievable to me that we, and many other Australians, could rush to the hospital in the hope of saving our baby's life while many other Australians are rushing to the hospital and 'Planned Parent Centres' to end the life of the child they both helped create. Probably one of the greatest tragedies in all this is the fact that many men pressurise their wives and girlfriends into having an abortion. =20 A friend summarised this present time in our nation's history with the cartoon picture of a number of expectant women, seated in the waiting room of an abortion clinic with the caption underneath, 'Where are the fathers?' Australia is a fatherless nation in more ways than one and that fatherlessness' spiral will continue unless we can begin to halt the shocking abortion rate. =20 Good parenting begins at conception. When a child is conceived a father is conceived - when a baby is born, a father is born. Your wife needs your full support. Pregnancy can be a very emotional but rewarding experience for both mother and father. =20 Lovework =20 Love your wife and support her through her pregnancy. =20 For those who have experienced miscarriage - please understand that many other men and women have had the same experience. The grief is real. Talk to someone about it. As you do, the healing will come. Maybe your words will bring healing to others. =20 =20 The womb should be the safest place in the world, but for many children it has become the most dangerous. 'Who will speak up for the little ones, helpless and half abandoned. They've got the right to choose, life they don't want to lose, I've got to speak up won't you?'=20 =20 Yours for our children =20 Warwick Marsh ________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is=20 the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in=20 age from 25 years to 13 years. Warwick is a musician,=20 songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he=20 can still laugh at himself. back to top=20 =20 Grandads =20 =20 When these parenting years have passed, something precious will have flickered=20 and gone out of my life. Thus, I am resolved to enjoy everyday that remains in this fathering era. =20 James Dobson back to top=20 =20 Laughter =20 Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands freespeaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.=20 MAN: "Hello"=20 WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $3,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, ..go ahead if you like it that much" WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006 models. I saw one I really liked" MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "$90,000" MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. =20 WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $1,550,000" MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $1,500,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. If it's really a pretty good price." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!" MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape... He smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?.." back to top=20 =20 Single Dads I Am Your Child =20 =20 I am a child of divorce. My parents' divorce became finalized when I was six years old. My mother was granted sole custody and my father never fought it. I am writing this because I wish to see change. Change in a system that helped to alter my relationship with my father for the duration of our lives. Our lives, he being 600 miles away at 52 years old, seem all too short. We started out fairly normal. I remember watching a football game with him, smelling my mum's pot roast in the air, being carried around on his shoulders, waiting for him to come home from work. A father-daughter relationship firmly rooted for growth. As months went by, the climate in our house became tense. I felt impending doom. It finally erupted, and then a deathly lull settled. A tiny six-year-old followed her father around the house while he packed his suitcases, taking the personal belongings my mother would let him have, which did not include me. As I begged him to stay, he held me for a long time; finally he pulled me away as he left our house. And so began my father's weekend visits. In his absence, he was a stranger to me, a curiosity. No more leisurely afternoons in front of the TV. We now embarked on the most exciting trips appropriate for our ages - bowling alleys, movies, malls and toy stores. I never came home empty-handed. Then back to his motel room, his new living quarters, to sit and spend time with him until he dropped us off at home, never sure I would see him until next weekend arrived. A new set of rules was imposed on our house. My mother took a job and went to school. My sister became my mother, cooking, cleaning and disciplining me. My brother, the eldest, became the man of the house, who also disciplined me but offered me affection. My father was spoken of very little; I only heard his name as he was being chastised for not visiting or blamed for a cheque that never arrived or came too late. Several times I would burst into tears, overwhelmed by his absence and feeling a great sense of loss. Each time, I was scolded, told to be strong, to wise up and quit feeling sorry for myself. I was certainly not to shed tears in front of my father. How ironic. I was told not to display grief while I was told by my mother what a lousy father I had. At this point our relationship had changed considerably. The man who came to pick me up on weekends was no longer the strong, stable father I had known. I sensed panic, helplessness and guilt emanating from my father. I pitied him for his guilt and helplessness, loving and idolizing him intensely: my daddy who would come home and defend himself to my mother and siblings and be strong again. All these perceptions from a six-year-old. My father and I lost so much time. Ordinary routine moments that will never occur again. Moments a father and a child both have a right to, things a father should be able to see and share with his children. At 21, I am still the grieving child of six who aches for her father. I am an adult who bears the scars and festering wounds of separation and divorce. I do not offer specific solutions for this problem; I am only articulating what children caught in the divorce process are experiencing and cannot voice themselves. To the fathers who read this - I AM YOUR CHILD WHO LOVES YOU AND NEEDS YOU!=20 FIGHT FOR ME! Reprinted from: http://ww.canadian.net/~fact/fact/library.htm=20 =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 There is a music video in the media at the moment, Confessions of a broken heart by Lindsay Lohan. It speaks volumes of the pain of children who are alienated from their fathers. It should be seen by all in the divorce industry. Here are the lyrics =20 Regards Maurice Mok =20 Confessions of a Broken Heart=20 by Lindsay Lohan =20 I wait for the postman to bring me a letter=20 and I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better=20 And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders=20 Family in crisis that only grows older Why'd you have to go=20 Why'd you have to go=20 Why'd you have to go=20 =20 Daughter to father, daughter to father=20 I am broken but I am hopin'=20 Daughter to father, daughter to father=20 I am crying, a part of me's dying and=20 and These are, these are=20 The confessions of a broken heart=20 =20 And I wear all your old clothes, your polar sweater=20 I dream of another you=20 The one who would never (never)=20 Leave me alone to pick up the pieces=20 Daddy to hold me, that's what I needed=20 =20 So why'd you have to go=20 Why'd you have to go=20 Why'd you have to go!!=20 =20 Daughter to father, daughter to father=20 I don't know you, but I still want to=20 Daughter to father, daughter to father=20 Tell me the truth, did you ever love me=20 Cause these are, these are=20 The confessions of a broken heart, of a broken heart=20 =20 I love you,=20 I love you=20 I love you=20 I....!!!!!=20 I loved you!!=20 =20 Daughter to father, daughter to father=20 I don't know you, but I still want to=20 Daughter to father, daughter to father=20 Tell me the truth...=20 Did you ever love me!!!=20 Did you ever love me?=20 These are.....=20 The confessions...of a broken heart=20 =20 Ohhh....yeah....=20 =20 And I wait for the postman to bring me a letter! back to top=20 =20 Dads with Young Children =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 Dad, brought to me by who? by Richard Hardy =20 You've probably seen this advertisement for accounting software plastered across billboards in the major cities. I love its sentiment. To me it reads 'Dads, get your work done and get home to see your children before they go to bed'. The sad reality is many dads don't get home in time to see their children. In one survey of 1000 Australian fathers, 68% felt that they did not spend enough time with their children and 53% felt their work and family lives interfered with each other (HREOC Discussion Paper 2005 ' 'Striking the Balance'). Intensification of work and longer working hours over recent decades have made it increasingly difficult to balance work and family. =20 I remember my own struggle with trying to balance work and family. Five and a half years ago our daughter was born. At the same time my career was really starting to take off and I was offered a promotion to become a director of the small consulting practice I had been working with for the past 3 years. I remember the pain vividly - I knew I wanted to be a good father for my children and spend as much time with them as I could but the promotion was such a great opportunity to further my career and to set us up financially. I really felt as though I was in a lose/lose situation. Knock back the promotion and my career would stagnate and we would miss out financially, take on the promotion and I may not be able to spend as much time with the kids as I would like and not be the involved dad I wanted to be. I became caught up in the momentum and confusion of negotiations with accountants, solicitors and colleagues and before I knew it I was signing on the dotted line. It wasn't until sometime later that I realised that it needn't have been an either/or decision. It is possible to have a successful career and be an involved father (more on this in later articles). Daniel Petre in his Australian Fatherhood Classic 'Father Time' says 'I have always maintained that you can achieve significant business success while being an involved father. But if you want to maximise business or career success you can't be an involved father. You can be a success in business but maximum success requires complete dedication!. Complete dedication of your time and energy will not leave you with sufficient to be a good father. =20 After signing up for the promotion and making a commitment to the company I realised that if I was going to be successful in balancing my work and family I had to re-establish my commitment to my family. I made a promise to myself to work to the great 'rule of thumb' that if you are away from your family more than 55 hours per week (including commuting) you can?t be a real father. =20 Two weeks ago my daughter started school. As I held her and kissed her before she ran off into class I felt sad that our little girl was growing up - where had the time gone? But I felt reassured by the fact that in her first five years I had done everything I could to be there for her. I spared a thought for those Dads who perhaps hadn't been involved with their children and had been caught up in the 'thick of things' at work, which is so easy to do. How would they be feeling right now? I felt even sadder when I realised that in some cases they may not even realise what they're missing out on. =20 At the end of the day, no new software or technology is going make you get home on time. Only you can make that decision to make your family the most important thing in your life. So next time you see that advertisement and think 'Dad, brought to me by who ?', you know the answer has to be 'DAD, BROUGHT TO ME BY DAD'. =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *=20 =20 Richard has been married for 12 years. He has a son, 7 years old and a daughter 5 years old. Richard considers that his most important work is to be the best dad he can be for his children. He holds an Associate position at an international engineering consultancy where he works as a professional civil engineer. back to top=20 =20 Thought of the Week =20 Who will speak up for the little ones, helpless and half abandoned? They've got a right to choose, life they don't want to lose, I've got to speak up won't you? =20 =A9Phil Keaggy=20 from the song 'Little Ones'=20 back to top=20 =20 All You Need is Love =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 That moment of terror lasted 30 years By Michael Kiely =20 http://manoverboardbook.blogspot.com =20 =20 I had a shocking realisation today, reading a book called The Mystery of Marriage by Mike Mason (given to me by Warwick Marsh of the Fatherhood Foundation). In the book Mike is telling the story of an incident in a monastery that he and his new wife visited where he was suddenly gripped by a cold hand around his heart. Questions flooded into his head. What am I doing? Who is this woman? Can I back out of this marriage? His moment of terror was soon dissolved when the couple observed two hawks flying together and playing joyfully in the vastness of the sky. =20 I recognised his moment of terror. I'd had my own. But it wasn't resolved so easily, and the consequences dogged our relationship for 30 years. Louisa and I had a whirlwind romance. We were inseperable from the moment we 'collided'., like childhood best best friends. We started living together informally almost from day one. When we returned by train to the university town for the beginning of the new year, Louisa was no longer booked into a residential college. We were sharing a farmhouse with my best friend at the time, Mark Jones. I hit the brick walk of fear and uncertainty as the Glen Innes Mail slowly drew us closer to Armidale, the New England university town where we met and where the early scenes in the tragicomedy of our love affair would be played out. =20 Fear gripped my heart. Suddenly I felt sick in the stomache. I couldn't feel the love that I had for Louisa. I felt like I was taking on a responsibility I couldn't fulfil. I felt dread of the future. I felt that I was going to hurt Louisa. I just wanted to get away and be alone. I did not have the courage to tell her what I was going through. But she must have sensed the distance between us. The dreadful distance kept recurring throughout our days together. I was pushing her away, then clinging to her when she tried to escape me. This pattern continued until she managed to escape and I peered into the abyss, alone, despairing, devastated. It all started with that moment of fear. =20 I came across that same phenomenon in the movie 'Rumor Has It' when the newly married sister Annie Huttinger (played by Mena Suvari) has a panic attack on the tennis court. She can't breathe. She explained to Jennifer Aniston that the marriage had all seemed like a dream, but then reality set in with a jolt. =20 Mike Mason says it's the moment when we realise the intensity of the invasion of privacy that marriage brings with it. Is this a psychological condition that people go through? Should marriage carry a warning label? =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * =20 Free Offer of E-Book for Fathersonline Subscribers =20 'Man Overboard' by Michael Kiely is a breakthrough book, designed to help men rescue and renew their marriage relationships. Michael has been married for over 30 years, has three children and a background in business and marketing. He shares with his readers how he rescued his own marriage when it went into crisis mode. 'Man Overboard' is short (100 pages), filled with headlines, valuable insights and quotations and doesn't beat around the bush. Warwick Marsh, founder of the 'Fatherhood Foundation' says, 'Every man should read this book if he is serious about staying married. It is easy to fall in love, but you have to fight to stay in love. Michael Kiely's book will give you keys to win the battle of love and save your marriage from destruction. 'Man Overboard' will help to keep the 'love fires' burning, but beware, this book is only for the brave. The fainthearted should not read this book.! =20 To get your free copy of 'Man Overboard' (normally over $20), simply send your request with a copy of the first page of your fathersonline (which contains your first name and email address), to Michael Kiely: michael@newhorizon.au.com with 'Free copy of Man Overboard' written in the subject line. =20 Don't miss out. Make sure you give Michael some feedback on his kindness in giving you a copy, free of charge.=20 back to top=20 =20 News & Info Howard, Abbott / AAP =20 Abortion Pill legalised =20 In a rare conscience vote, the effective legalising of abortion was carried on the voices in parliament on Thursday 16th. =20 Can you believe that with the wealth of evidence demonstrating that society is crumbly rapidly as the family structure collapses, that voices have now made it very easy to remove the 'problem' of an unwanted child by just finding a prescribing doctor. Word will get around fast. Read more: http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,18166392-2,00.html =20 =20 =20 _____________________________ =20 Dads in Distress Celebration/Launch =20 7 pm - 9:30 pm Wednesday 22nd February,2006 Bommaderry RSL, Nowra NSW =20 Speakers: Warwick Marsh - Fatherhood Foundation Barry Williams - Lone Fathers Association Tony Miller - DIDS =20 Music "The Marshes" & "Brian Seaman and Annie Osbourne" =20 Enquiries: David - 0431549593 ______________________________________________ 07 February 2006=20 The Australian=20 Two-year wait for custody shake-up=20 Lone fathers who had been promised a more favourable child custody system may have to wait until after the next federal election before they see any reforms.=20 Read more http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news355.html =20 06 February 2006=20 Online Opinion=20 Time to end the divorce between loyalty and the family law=20 Ending the divorce between loyalty and family law would bring the law into line with rightly held moral standards. It would also lead to fairer property divisions and probably result in fewer divorces.=20 Read more http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news354.html =20 ___________________________________________________ Urgent: Government calling for submissions Parliament of Australia, The Senate =20 Senate Legal and Constitutional Committee =20 http://www.aph.gov.au/Senate/committee/legcon_ctte/family_law/info.htm Inquiry into the provisions of the Family Law Amendment (Shared Parental Responsibility) Bill 2005 =20 Information about the inquiry =20 On 7 February 2006 , the Senate referred the above Bill to the Senate Legal and Constitutional Legislation Committee for inquiry and report by 27 March 2006. =20 The Bill amends the Family Law Act 1975. The changes proposed by the Bill include: =20 - the introduction of a presumption of joint parental responsibility; =20 - the requirement for parents to attend dispute resolution and develop parenting plans before taking a parenting matter to court; =20 - improvements to enforcement of parenting orders; =20 - and better recognising the interests of children in spending time with grandparents and other relatives =20 Lodging Submissions =20 Submissions are called for by 24 February 2006. Submissions become Committee documents and are only made public after a decision by the Committee. Unauthorised release of submissions is not covered by parliamentary privilege. Further assistance can be obtained by phoning the secretariat on (02) 6277 3560. =20 For further information, contact: =20 Committee Secretary Senate Legal and Constitutional Committee Department of the Senate Parliament House Canberra ACT 2600 Australia =20 Phone: 02 6277 3560 Fax: 02 6277 5794 Email: legcon.sen@aph.gov.au =20 =20 =20 =20 Fathers are Fair Game =20 If Liam Magill was an illegal immigrant, an axe murderer, a rapist or a drug smuggler, he would have rights, but because he is a father, he is fair game for an out-of-control Child Support Agency. =20 A criminal has the right to be legally represented, but not this man. Liam's past experiences with the CSA have left him with a permanent psychiatric disability which has deprived him of decades of productive life, yet he remains at their mercy. Summoned to a conference with the Agency at the recent bidding of his former wife, Liam has been denied the opportunity to be represented or even supported during this impending harrowing ordeal. Even his Power of Attorney is being instructed to stay away and refrain from attending with him. The CSA is well aware of the Magill saga as it has unfolded over the years, but the CSA hides behind legal advice that Liam must face his persecutors alone. We treat pedophiles more humanely. =20 Liam Magill made legal history in 2002 when he sued his former wife Meredith Magill for the damage caused when he discovered that two out three of his children were fathered by a trusted family friend. The Victorian County Court heard evidence from Liam Magill's psychiatrist that the burden of paying Child Support for three children had caused depression, anxiety and an inability to cope with the pressures of everyday life. Judge John Hanlon accepted Dr Chong's evidence and awarded damages against Liam's former wife, Meredith Magill. The Victorian Court of Appeal later overturned that judgment; however the High Court of Australia is now set to have the final word. In October 2004, Liam Magill's former employer determined that he would never be able to return to the workforce and paid him a small sum intended to top up his disability pension until retirement age. Liam?s former wife Meredith Magill is now seeking a share of the compensation for the damage that she and the CSA have caused. As Liam Magill's final entitlements was paid in a lump sum, it has been deemed as income in a single financial year, putting Liam's above average weekly earnings for the first time in his life.=20 =20 And Meredith Magill wants a slice of the action.=20 =20 Liam's case has attracted the attention of Federal Liberal MP Mr. Alby Schultz, - Member for Hume- whose office has been collating thousands of case histories from aggrieved CSA payers. =20 A recent independent report claims that when all direct and consequential costs are taken into account, every dollar collected by the CSA actually costs the taxpayer over five dollars. One commentator has also suggested that the national skills shortage could end tomorrow if the CSA was abolished. He claimed that many men are unemployed or under-employed by choice as a result of crippling punitive Child Support deductions that can leave a man with less than a quarter of his gross income. =20 Support groups have consistently claimed that the CSA is directly or indirectly responsible for hundreds of men taking their own lives every year. The Child Support Agency has refused to release the information it has on the problem, even to a Parliamentary Committee. It seems that the agency is accountable to no-one.=20 =20 Just as a recent review of the Immigration Department?s string of abuses, a fully independent review of CSA is likely to uncover a culture devoted to the pursuit of payers at any cost. Whilst citizens deported in error can be returned to Australia and compensated for their ordeal, how will we deal with the CSA clients who have taken their own lives or fallen victim to clinical depression. =20 Cheryl King Enduring Power of Attorney for Liam Magill 0416 031145 =20 kingcems@alphalink.com.au=20 February 2006 =20 Letters =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 Thank you for you wonderful Newsletter, =20 I really enjoy reading it and finding out what is on. =20 I am working in conjunction with Brad Mander from Camp Connect and wonder if you might be able to advertise our Dads and Kids Camp to run in March 10-12 this year at the Collaroy Centre. Registration is due by the end of this week but we are looking at extending the registration for another week. =20 I have attached the information for the camp and hope that you are able to help us get the information out there. =20 =20 Please feel free to give me a call on 0412 556 886 or call Brad on 0413 587 120. =20 =20 Kind Regards, =20 Lizz Vernon Rouse Hill Community Development Worker The Hills Community Aid & Information Services Inc. 390 Windsor Road, Baulkham Hills NSW 2153 =20 9639 8620 =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *=20 =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 I'm wondering whether you know of any sole father support groups in the Hunter Valley region who I could contact to advise of a new website resource. =20 www.hunterkids.com.au is a new website that lists things to do, places to go etc with kids and I thought fathers might find it helpful, especially those ones who have their kids on weekends and don't know what to do with them apart from go to McDonalds! =20 Let me know if know who I could contact up here Regards =20 Melanie James Hunter Kids www.hunterkids.com.au =20 melanie@hunterkids.com.au=20 PO Box 211 Branxton 2335. Ph 0434 572 482 =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 It's Heather Ellis here wife of Brian, you may remember from Character First! I have just read your email and just want to you about a great book I have just read that has helped our marriage considerably. =20 I heard this lady interviewed on Focus on the Family and rushed out to get her book. It is called The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. Full of sad letters from husbands who are just trying to be men who want to love and care for their wives and are being emotionally abused to the point of leaving and the wives ask why? It is great reading for your mission to help fathers and families. =20 There are a number of books that she has written, oh she by the way is Dr Laura Schlessinger. So far I have read two of them and am keen to read the others also. For me personally, I have fallen in love all over again, and we're coming up 31 years in March. They have helped me appreciate Brian firstly and men in general so much more and I am on a mission myself now to promote them where couples are struggling and want help. =20 Sorry, I didn't mean for this to be a book, but suffice to say God bless you in your mission and purpose to unite families and encourage Dads especially. We trust you and your family are all well and enjoying the journey He has you on:) God bless you, Heather =20 back to top=20 =20 Dad's Prayer =20 =20 =20 Dear God =20 We pray for the children of Australia, that their voice would be heard, though unborn. Forgive us for not speaking up for them. Forgive us for our complacency. Forgive us for our selfishness, because you come to us in the shape of a child. When we reject our children, we reject you. =20 Help us to be good fathers and to=20 care for our wives through pregnancy. Help us to care for the children of Australia that are yet to be born. Let our voice, be their voice as we speak on their behalf. =20 =20 back to top=20 =20 About Us Mission Statement & Help Us! =20 =20 Mission Statement=20 The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families. Click here for more information about us =20 Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving. That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation. Life is also about relationships. That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones. =20 If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation, please mail your cheque or money order to: Fatherhood Foundation PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top=20 Click Here to Unsubscribe =20 ------=_NextPart_000_12E6_01C63585.B826F080 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Fatherhood Foundation
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Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 Go to our website Here


Welcome Warwick

Well I feel totally gutted.  What's wrong with me, I'm usually much more positive than this?  Before I tell you why, let me tell you something I have never told you before.  I don't talk about it very often, because it is sort of awkward, and in some ways very sad.

 

My wife and I have five children, but we should have had six.  In 1989 my wife miscarried.  It was a shocking experience.  The pregnancy was unexpected but so was the miscarriage.  My wife started to spot blood but before long the increasing flow of blood became a great cause of concern.  We didn't really know what was happening, our hearts were pounding as I drove her to the hospital.

 

As the midwives attended to my wife, they tried to give us hope as they reassured us that many other women's babies had survived similar circumstances.  When the doctor did an examination she informed us that the baby had died and was lying in the neck of the cervix and that a curette should be performed.  I can remember being very shocked that the baby was dead.  Although we had not necessarily expected that pregnancy, we were both looking forward to the birth of our fifth child.  She or he would be seventeen years of age by now and approaching the last year of high school.

 

I recall giving the nurses the 'third degree', "Are you sure the baby is dead?" was the foremost thought on my mind.  After a protracted discussion with the hospital staff, we agreed to the curette which would remove the dead baby and any other foetal matter.

 

In some ways Alison was relieved, as the curette seemed to be the only answer at the time, but nothing could have prepared us for the shock and grief we were both about to go through.  Obviously my wife felt that grief more than me because she was closer to the baby than I was.  She was carrying that beautiful little life deep inside the safest place in her body, her womb.  I remember that I cried a little, but it was not unusual for me to come home from work and find my wife preparing dinner with tears in her eyes.  In times like these I gave her a hug and tried to reassure her and comfort her.  This grieving process went on for over six months.  In fact, some six years later, my wife woke up one morning and wrote the song below.

 

I Never Knew You

 

Inspired by the thought:

'How will I recognise my unformed babe in eternity?'

© 1995 Alison Marsh

 

I never knew you, rocked you in my arms.

I never saw you smile or laugh at me.

I never loved you, tried the fears to calm,

But deep inside I'll know when it's you I see.

 

I never held you, wiped away the tears.

I never touched you, felt your skin so soft.

I never loved you over all these years,

But when I see you, I'll know it's you I lost.

 

You left me at such an early age,

It must have been as difficult for you as it was for me.

You left me at such an early stage,

Still I know I'll know, when it's you I see.

 

I often wonder how it would have been

To have another child so soon?

No, I'll never know, how it could have been,

Yet I know, I'll know, when I see you.

 

You left me at such an early age,

It must have been as difficult for you as it was for me.

You left me at such an early stage,

Still I know I'll know, when it's you I see.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

So why do I feel so gutted this week?  That was seventeen years ago?

 

This week, and last week, the federal parliament has voted that approval for the abortion pill RU486 be given to the Therapeutic Goods Association so that it will become freely available for all Australian women to use whenever they wish. Sadly, this pill has already killed women overseas. We already have almost 100,000 abortions a year in Australia.  That does not include miscarriages or still births.  It seems unbelievable to me that we, and many other Australians, could rush to the hospital in the hope of saving our baby's life while many other Australians are rushing to the hospital and 'Planned Parent Centres' to end the life of the child they both helped create.  Probably one of the greatest tragedies in all this is the fact that many men pressurise their wives and girlfriends into having an abortion.

 

A friend summarised this present time in our nation's history with the cartoon picture of a number of expectant women, seated in the waiting room of an abortion clinic with the caption underneath, 'Where are the fathers?'  Australia is a fatherless nation in more ways than one and that fatherlessness' spiral will continue unless we can begin to halt the shocking abortion rate.

 

Good parenting begins at conception.  When a child is conceived a father is conceived - when a baby is born, a father is born.  Your wife needs your full support.  Pregnancy can be a very emotional but rewarding experience for both mother and father.

 

Lovework

 

Love your wife and support her through her pregnancy.

 

For those who have experienced miscarriage - please understand that many other men and women have had the same experience.  The grief is real.  Talk to someone about it.  As you do, the healing will come.  Maybe your words will bring healing to others.

 

The womb should be the safest place in the world, but for many children it has become the most dangerous.  'Who will speak up for the little ones, helpless and half abandoned.  They've got the right to choose, life they don't want to lose, I've got to speak up won't you?'

 

Yours for our children

 

Warwick Marsh



________________________________________


Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician,
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he
can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads



When these parenting years have passed,

something precious will have flickered

and gone out of my life.

Thus, I am resolved to enjoy everyday that remains

 in this fathering era.

 

James Dobson

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Laughter



Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands freespeaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. 

MAN: "Hello" 

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $3,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, ..go ahead if you like it that much"

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006 models. I saw one I really liked"

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $1,550,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $1,500,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. If it's really a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape... He smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?.."

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Single Dads

I Am Your Child

 

I am a child of divorce. My parents' divorce became finalized when I was six years old. My mother was granted sole custody and my father never fought it.

I am writing this because I wish to see change. Change in a system that helped to alter my relationship with my father for the duration of our lives. Our lives, he being 600 miles away at 52 years old, seem all too short.

We started out fairly normal. I remember watching a football game with him, smelling my mum's pot roast in the air, being carried around on his shoulders, waiting for him to come home from work. A father-daughter relationship firmly rooted for growth.

As months went by, the climate in our house became tense. I felt impending doom. It finally erupted, and then a deathly lull settled.

A tiny six-year-old followed her father around the house while he packed his suitcases, taking the personal belongings my mother would let him have, which did not include me. As I begged him to stay, he held me for a long time; finally he pulled me away as he left our house.

And so began my father's weekend visits. In his absence, he was a stranger to me, a curiosity. No more leisurely afternoons in front of the TV. We now embarked on the most exciting trips appropriate for our ages - bowling alleys, movies, malls and toy stores. I never came home empty-handed. Then back to his motel room, his new living quarters, to sit and spend time with him until he dropped us off at home, never sure I would see him until next weekend arrived.

A new set of rules was imposed on our house. My mother took a job and went to school. My sister became my mother, cooking, cleaning and disciplining me. My brother, the eldest, became the man of the house, who also disciplined me but offered me affection.

My father was spoken of very little; I only heard his name as he was being chastised for not visiting or blamed for a cheque that never arrived or came too late.

Several times I would burst into tears, overwhelmed by his absence and feeling a great sense of loss. Each time, I was scolded, told to be strong, to wise up and quit feeling sorry for myself. I was certainly not to shed tears in front of my father. How ironic.

I was told not to display grief while I was told by my mother what a lousy father I had. At this point our relationship had changed considerably. The man who came to pick me up on weekends was no longer the strong, stable father I had known. I sensed panic, helplessness and guilt emanating from my father. I pitied him for his guilt and helplessness, loving and idolizing him intensely: my daddy who would come home and defend himself to my mother and siblings and be strong again. All these perceptions from a six-year-old.

My father and I lost so much time. Ordinary routine moments that will never occur again. Moments a father and a child both have a right to, things a father should be able to see and share with his children.

At 21, I am still the grieving child of six who aches for her father. I am an adult who bears the scars and festering wounds of separation and divorce. I do not offer specific solutions for this problem; I am only articulating what children caught in the divorce process are experiencing and cannot voice themselves.

To the fathers who read this -

I AM YOUR CHILD WHO LOVES YOU AND NEEDS YOU!

FIGHT FOR ME!

Reprinted from: http://ww.canadian.net/~fact/fact/library.htm

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

There is a music video in the media at the moment,

Confessions of a broken heart by Lindsay Lohan.

It speaks volumes of the pain of children who are alienated from

their fathers.

It should be seen by all in the divorce industry.

Here are the lyrics

 

Regards

Maurice Mok

 

Confessions of a Broken Heart

by Lindsay Lohan

 

I wait for the postman to bring me a letter

and I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better

And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders

Family in crisis that only grows older

 

Why'd you have to go

Why'd you have to go

Why'd you have to go

 

Daughter to father, daughter to father

I am broken but I am hopin'

Daughter to father, daughter to father

I am crying, a part of me's dying and

and These are, these are

The confessions of a broken heart

 

And I wear all your old clothes, your polar sweater

I dream of another you

The one who would never (never)

Leave me alone to pick up the pieces

Daddy to hold me, that's what I needed

 

So why'd you have to go

Why'd you have to go

Why'd you have to go!!

 

Daughter to father, daughter to father

I don't know you, but I still want to

Daughter to father, daughter to father

Tell me the truth, did you ever love me

Cause these are, these are

The confessions of a broken heart, of a broken heart

 

I love you,

I love you

I love you

I....!!!!!

I loved you!!

 

Daughter to father, daughter to father

I don't know you, but I still want to

Daughter to father, daughter to father

Tell me the truth...

Did you ever love me!!!

Did you ever love me?

These are.....

The confessions...of a broken heart

 

Ohhh....yeah....

 

And I wait for the postman to bring me a letter!

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Dads with Young Children

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dad, brought to me by who?

by Richard Hardy

 

You've probably seen this advertisement for accounting software plastered across billboards in the major cities.  I love its sentiment. To me it reads 'Dads, get your work done and get home to see your children before they go to bed'.  The sad reality is many dads don't get home in time to see their children.  In one survey of 1000 Australian fathers, 68% felt that they did not spend enough time with their children and 53% felt their work and family lives interfered with each other (HREOC Discussion Paper 2005 ' 'Striking the Balance').  Intensification of work and longer working hours over recent decades have made it increasingly difficult to balance work and family.

 

I remember my own struggle with trying to balance work and family.  Five and a half years ago our daughter was born.  At the same time my career was really starting to take off and I was offered a promotion to become a director of the small consulting practice I had been working with for the past 3 years.  I remember the pain vividly - I knew I wanted to be a good father for my children and spend as much time with them as I could but the promotion was such a great opportunity to further my career and to set us up financially.  I really felt as though I was in a lose/lose situation.  Knock back the promotion and my career would stagnate and we would miss out financially, take on the promotion and I may not be able to spend as much time with the kids as I would like and not be the involved dad I wanted to be.  I became caught up in the momentum and confusion of negotiations with accountants, solicitors and colleagues and before I knew it I was signing on the dotted line.  It wasn't until sometime later that I realised that it needn't have been an either/or decision.  It is possible to have a successful career and be an involved father (more on this in later articles).  Daniel Petre in his Australian Fatherhood Classic 'Father Time' says 'I have always maintained that you can achieve significant business success while being an involved father.  But if you want to maximise business or career succe ss you can't be an involved father.  You can be a success in business but maximum success requires complete dedication!.  Complete dedication of your time and energy will not leave you with sufficient to be a good father.

 

After signing up for the promotion and making a commitment to the company I realised that if I was going to be successful in balancing my work and family I had to re-establish my commitment to my family.  I made a promise to myself to work to the great 'rule of thumb' that if you are away from your family more than 55 hours per week (including commuting) you can?t be a real father.

 

Two weeks ago my daughter started school.  As I held her and kissed her before she ran off into class I felt sad that our little girl was growing up - where had the time gone?  But I felt reassured by the fact that in her first five years I had done everything I could to be there for her.  I spared a thought for those Dads who perhaps hadn't been involved with their children and had been caught up in the 'thick of things' at work, which is so easy to do.  How would they be feeling right now? I felt even sadder when I realised that in some cases they may not even realise what they're missing out on.

 

At the end of the day, no new software or technology is going make you get home on time.  Only you can make that decision to make your family the most important thing in your life.  So next time you see that advertisement and think 'Dad, brought to me by who ?', you know the answer has to be 'DAD, BROUGHT TO ME BY DAD'.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Richard has been married for 12 years.  He has a son, 7 years old and a daughter 5 years old.  Richard considers that his most important work is to be the best dad he can be for his children.  He holds an Associate position at an international engineering consultancy where he works as a professional civil engineer.

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Thought of the Week

Who will speak up for the little ones,

helpless and half abandoned?

They've got a right to choose,

life they don't want to lose,

I've got to speak up won't you?

 

©Phil Keaggy

from the song 'Little Ones' 

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All You Need is Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

That moment of terror lasted 30 years

By Michael Kiely

 

http://manoverboardbook.blogspot.com

 

I had a shocking realisation today, reading a book called The Mystery of Marriage by Mike Mason (given to me by Warwick Marsh of the Fatherhood Foundation). In the book Mike is telling the story of an incident in a monastery that he and his new wife visited where he was suddenly gripped by a cold hand around his heart. Questions flooded into his head. What am I doing? Who is this woman? Can I back out of this marriage? His moment of terror was soon dissolved when the couple observed two hawks flying together and playing joyfully in the vastness of the sky.

I recognised his moment of terror. I'd had my own. But it wasn't resolved so easily, and the consequences dogged our relationship for 30 years. Louisa and I had a whirlwind romance. We were inseperable from the moment we 'collided'., like childhood best best friends. We started living together informally almost from day one. When we returned by train to the university town for the beginning of the new year, Louisa was no longer booked into a residential college. We were sharing a farmhouse with my best friend at the time, Mark Jones. I hit the brick walk of fear and uncertainty as the Glen Innes Mail slowly drew us closer to Armidale, the New England university town where we met and where the early scenes in the tragicomedy of our love affair would be played out.

 

Fear gripped my heart. Suddenly I felt sick in the stomache. I couldn't feel the love that I had for Louisa. I felt like I was taking on a responsibility I couldn't fulfil. I felt dread of the future. I felt that I was going to hurt Louisa. I just wanted to get away and be alone. I did not have the courage to tell her what I was going through. But she must have sensed the distance between us. The dreadful distance kept recurring throughout our days together. I was pushing her away, then clinging to her when she tried to escape me. This pattern continued until she managed to escape and I peered into the abyss, alone, despairing, devastated. It all started with that moment of fear.

 

I came across that same phenomenon in the movie 'Rumor Has It' when the newly married sister Annie Huttinger (played by Mena Suvari) has a panic attack on the tennis court. She can't breathe. She explained to Jennifer Aniston that the marriage had all seemed like a dream, but then reality set in with a jolt.

 

Mike Mason says it's the moment when we realise the intensity of the invasion of privacy that marriage brings with it.

Is this a psychological condition that people go through? Should marriage carry a warning label?

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Free Offer of E-Book for Fathersonline Subscribers

 

'Man Overboard' by Michael Kiely is a breakthrough book, designed to help men rescue and renew their marriage relationships.  Michael has been married for over 30 years, has three children and a background in business and marketing.  He shares with his readers how he rescued his own marriage when it went into crisis mode.  'Man Overboard' is short (100 pages), filled with headlines, valuable insights and quotations and doesn't beat around the bush.  Warwick Marsh, founder of the 'Fatherhood Foundation' says, 'Every man should read this book if he is serious about staying married.  It is easy to fall in love, but you have to fight to stay in love.  Michael Kiely's book will give you keys to win the battle of love and save your marriage from destruction.  'Man Overboard' will help to keep the 'love fires' burning, but beware, this book is only for the brave.  The fainthearted should not read this book.!

 

To get your free copy of 'Man Overboard' (normally over $20), simply send your request with a copy of the first page of your fathersonline (which contains your first name and email address), to Michael Kiely: michael@newhorizon.au.com   with 'Free copy of Man Overboard' written in the subject line.

 

Don't miss out. Make sure you give Michael some feedback on his kindness in giving you a copy, free of charge.

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News & Info

 Howard, Abbott / AAP 

Abortion Pill legalised

 

In a rare conscience vote, the effective legalising of abortion was carried on the voices in parliament on Thursday 16th.

 

Can you believe that with the wealth of evidence demonstrating that society is crumbly rapidly as the family structure collapses, that voices have now made it very easy to remove the 'problem' of an unwanted child by just finding a prescribing doctor. Word will get around fast.

Read more:

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,18166392-2,00.html

 

 

_____________________________

 

Dads in Distress Celebration/Launch

 

7 pm - 9:30 pm Wednesday 22nd February,2006

Bommaderry RSL, Nowra NSW

 

Speakers:

Warwick Marsh - Fatherhood Foundation

Barry Williams - Lone Fathers Association

Tony Miller - DIDS

 

Music "The Marshes"  &  "Brian Seaman and Annie Osbourne"

 

Enquiries:  David  - 0431549593

______________________________________________

07 February 2006
The Australian
Two-year wait for custody shake-up
Lone fathers who had been promised a more favourable child custody system may have to wait until after the next federal election before they see any reforms.
Read more
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news355.html  


06 February 2006
Online Opinion
Time to end the divorce between loyalty and the family law
Ending the divorce between loyalty and family law would bring the law into line with rightly held moral standards. It would also lead to fairer property divisions and probably result in fewer divorces.
Read more
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news354.html  
___________________________________________________

Urgent: Government calling for submissions

Parliament of Australia, The Senate

 

Senate Legal and Constitutional Committee

 

http://www.aph.gov.au/Senate/committee/legcon_ctte/family_law/info.htm

 

Inquiry into the provisions of the Family Law Amendment (Shared Parental Responsibility) Bill 2005

 

Information about the inquiry

 

On 7 February 2006 , the Senate referred the above Bill to the Senate Legal and Constitutional Legislation Committee for inquiry and report by 27 March 2006.

 

The Bill amends the Family Law Act 1975. The changes proposed by the Bill include:

 

- the introduction of a presumption of joint parental responsibility;

 

- the requirement for parents to attend dispute resolution and develop parenting plans before taking a parenting matter to court;

 

- improvements to enforcement of parenting orders;

 

- and better recognising the interests of children in spending time with grandparents and other relatives

 

Lodging Submissions

 

Submissions are called for by 24 February 2006.  Submissions become Committee documents and are only made public after a decision by the Committee. Unauthorised release of submissions is not covered by parliamentary privilege. Further assistance can be obtained by phoning the secretariat on (02) 6277 3560.

 

For further information, contact:

 

Committee Secretary

Senate Legal and Constitutional Committee

Department of the Senate

Parliament House

Canberra ACT 2600

Australia

 

Phone: 02 6277 3560

Fax: 02 6277 5794

Email: legcon.sen@aph.gov.au  

 

 

 

Fathers are Fair Game

 

If Liam Magill was an illegal immigrant, an axe murderer, a rapist or a drug smuggler, he would have rights, but because he is a father, he is fair game for an out-of-control Child Support Agency.

 

A criminal has the right to be legally represented, but not this man. Liam's past experiences with the CSA have left him with a permanent psychiatric disability which has deprived him of decades of productive life, yet he remains at their mercy. Summoned to a conference with the Agency at the recent bidding of his former wife, Liam has been denied the opportunity to be represented or even supported during this impending harrowing ordeal. Even his Power of Attorney is being instructed to stay away and refrain from attending with him. The CSA is well aware of the Magill saga as it has unfolded over the years, but the CSA hides behind legal advice that Liam must face his persecutors alone. 

 

We treat pedophiles more humanely.

 

Liam Magill made legal history in 2002 when he sued his former wife Meredith Magill for the damage caused when he discovered that two out three of his children were fathered by a trusted family friend. The Victorian County Court heard evidence from Liam Magill's psychiatrist that the burden of paying Child Support for three children had caused depression, anxiety and an inability to cope with the pressures of everyday life. Judge John Hanlon accepted Dr Chong's evidence and awarded damages against Liam's former wife, Meredith Magill. The Victorian Court of Appeal later overturned that judgment; however the High Court of Australia is now set to have the final word.

In October 2004, Liam Magill's former employer determined that he would never be able to return to the workforce and paid him a small sum intended to top up his disability pension until retirement age. Liam?s former wife Meredith Magill is now seeking a share of the compensation for the damage that she and the CSA have caused. As Liam Magill's final entitlements was paid in a lump sum, it has been deemed as income in a single financial year, putting Liam's above average weekly earnings for the first time in his life.

 

And Meredith Magill wants a slice of the action.

 

Liam's case has attracted the attention of Federal Liberal MP Mr. Alby Schultz, - Member for Hume- whose office has been collating thousands of case histories from aggrieved CSA payers.

 

A recent independent report claims that when all direct and consequential costs are taken into account, every dollar collected by the CSA actually costs the taxpayer over five dollars. One commentator has also suggested that the national skills shortage could end tomorrow if the CSA was abolished. He claimed that many men are unemployed or under-employed by choice as a result of crippling punitive Child Support deductions that can leave a man with less than a quarter of his gross income.

 

Support groups have consistently claimed that the CSA is directly or indirectly responsible for hundreds of men taking their own lives every year. The Child Support Agency has refused to release the information it has on the problem, even to a Parliamentary Committee. It seems that the agency is accountable to no-one.

 

Just as a recent review of the Immigration Department?s string of abuses, a fully independent review of CSA is likely to uncover a culture devoted to the pursuit of payers at any cost. Whilst citizens deported in error can be returned to Australia and compensated for their ordeal, how will we deal with the CSA clients who have taken their own lives or fallen victim to clinical depression.

 

Cheryl King

Enduring Power of Attorney for Liam Magill

0416 031145       

kingcems@alphalink.com.au

February 2006

 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Thank you for you wonderful Newsletter,

 

I really enjoy reading it and finding out what is on.

 

I am working in conjunction with Brad Mander from Camp Connect and wonder if you might be able to advertise our Dads and Kids Camp to run in March 10-12 this year at the Collaroy Centre.  Registration is due by the end of this week but we are looking at extending the registration for another week.

 

I have attached the information for the camp and hope that you are able to help us get the information out there. 

 

Please feel free to give me a call on 0412 556 886 or call Brad on 0413 587 120. 

 

Kind Regards,

 

Lizz Vernon

Rouse Hill Community Development Worker

The Hills Community Aid & Information Services Inc.

390 Windsor Road,

Baulkham Hills NSW 2153

 

9639 8620

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

I'm wondering whether you know of any sole father support groups in the Hunter Valley region who I could contact to advise of a new website resource.

 

www.hunterkids.com.au  is a new website that lists things to do, places to go etc with kids and I thought fathers might find it helpful, especially those ones who have their kids on weekends and don't know what to do with them apart from go to McDonalds!

 

Let me know if know who I could contact up here

Regards

 

Melanie James

Hunter Kids

www.hunterkids.com.au

melanie@hunterkids.com.au

PO Box 211

Branxton 2335.

Ph 0434 572 482

 

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Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

It's Heather Ellis here wife of Brian, you may remember from Character First!

I have just read your email and just want to you about a great book I have just read that has helped our marriage considerably.

 

I heard this lady interviewed on Focus on the Family and rushed out to get her book. It is called The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. Full of sad letters from husbands who are just trying to be men who want to love and care for their wives and are being emotionally abused to the point of leaving and the wives ask why? It is great reading for your mission to help fathers and families.

 

There are a number of books that she has written, oh she by the way is Dr Laura Schlessinger. So far I have read two of them and am keen to read the others also.

For me personally, I have fallen in love all over again, and we're coming up 31 years in March. They have helped me appreciate Brian firstly and men in general so much more and I am on a mission myself now to promote them where couples are struggling and want help.

 

Sorry, I didn't mean for this to be a  book, but suffice to say God bless you in your mission and purpose to unite families and encourage Dads especially.

We trust you and your family are all well and enjoying the journey He has you on:)

God bless you,

Heather

 

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Dad's Prayer

 

Dear God

 

We pray for the children of Australia, that

their voice would be heard, though unborn.

Forgive us for not speaking up for them.

Forgive us for our complacency.

Forgive us for our selfishness,

because you come to us in the shape of a child.

When we reject our children, we reject you.

 

Help us to be good fathers and to

care for our wives through pregnancy.

Help us to care for the children of Australia

that are yet to be born.

Let our voice, be their voice

as we speak on their behalf.

 

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About Us

Mission Statement & Help Us!

Mission Statement

The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families.

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving.  That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation.  Life is also about relationships.  That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones.
 
If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation,
please mail your cheque or money order to:
Fatherhood Foundation
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

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